A Dæmon's Heart
by Ovo
Summary: AU? A mesh of the concept of dæmons from 'His Dark Materials' and the TSW storyline, following from when the film left off.
1. The End

_A Dæmon's Heart_

**_Chapter One_  
The End**

The osprey dæmon could only trill consolingly; a halfhearted attempt and little good it did. Aki raised a hand to soothe the bird as he had tried for her. Neither felt the impact of the other's efforts as they grieved together.

Dr. Sid watched, trying to decide between minds. The world was saved, that was no longer an issue. There was work to be done, but he was not sure that he, himself, was the fellow to do it. His thoughts wandered instead to the matter of Cpt. Edwards, and, despite the sad circumstance, that it was probably better this way than had the younger man lived through the ordeal below. The old man couldn't help feeling guilt, even as he knew this.

Gray had left New York without Aieese, the hawk having been struck down and torn apart by Phantoms before she could reach her human. The captain had been alone, and only a half of himself since their escape.

Sid wouldn't have wanted to live as a _separate_; he couldn't imagine anyone who would. Despite his better nature, he still felt sick every time he saw one, and detested the way the USMF made use of them.

His musing was interrupted as a dæmon leapt upon the console in front of him, and his own startled and flexed her wings. The silver fox doe stood tall on all four feet, staring at the motionless body set into the flight chair.

The rabbit jumped to the floor, and ran aimlessly around the cockpit until Sid triggered the door. In a blur, she was gone. The doctor didn't wonder at the behavior; it had been his experience that every individual took separation in a different way.

Aki's dæmon fluttered, and the woman looked out the window at the setting sun. The first words she spoke since the Leonid Crater were drained of vigor, but not without hope.

"What do we do now…?"

**---**

"…That they're gone? What's gonna happen to us?"

The lounged lynx dæmon paid little attention to the piteous mewling. Instead, he took a minute to worry at the harness strap across his chest before returning focus to the washing of his face and forepaws.

"You can't tell me you don't care!" the rabbit yelped, thoroughly disgusted with the other's demeanor, "You can't!"

The lynx stood up and stretched. The rabbit dashed into a corner as the feline lunged. With one large forepaw, the larger dæmon pinned the smaller, and ran his raspy tongue from her black-silver head to her fluffy white tail.

"There; all better," the lynx growled, "So get over it."

The rabbit sniffled, and disappeared as quickly as it had arrived. The cat snorted. If a rabbit could cry, a lynx could roll his eyes.

**---**

The arctic owl flittered and chirped, landing heavily and noisily on far edge of the control panel.

"Kvasir," Sid said, "Shush."

_Sorry_, the dæmon thought, _I only wanted a better view._

_I know._

The signals were weak, but through the interference there were several things of interest. The most impressive were reports on anomalies worldwide, including the disappearance of the Phantoms.

Dr. Sid flicked the receiver off, turning just so as to look up at the young woman looking over his shoulder, "What do you think?"

"I'm not sure," In the darkness, Aki merely stared at the blinking board, "It sounds chaotic."

"You know more about military matters than I do," Sid sighed, "Wouldn't you say it's a safe guess that they're going to want to know what happened?"

"Yes,"

The older scientist could have thrown a tantrum, had that been his temperament. He wasn't sure, but he didn't think they were in the best of situations. While he understood her mood perfectly, now wasn't the time.

In comprehension, Aki's dæmon squeezed his talons into her shoulder and screeched. The woman snapped alert, ducked her head, and apologized.

"Not for me so much, but for yourself."

"I don't believe that."

Sid's eyes crinkled with a sad amusement, for now it was his turn to apologize.

"Aki," the tone was serious, "Do you think this ship can still fly after all it's been through?"

"I don't know," the woman blinked, and began checking various panels and readouts. Her dæmon trilled and took flight to the other side of the cabin.

"You realize," Sid said, "They're going to want to investigate sooner or later, and may not be so happy to find us alive."

"We might have to wait for them to come get us, then," Aki replied, "I'm not sure we can take off the way we are."


	2. Twisting and Bending

_A Dæmon's Heart _

**_Chapter Two_  
Twisting and Bending**

It was the second day after the Phantoms had been eliminated. Two days that were a kaleidoscope of emotion for those stranded at the edge of the abyss that was the Leonid impact site. What remained of the world was safe, but at the cost of life and broken hearts.

So the second evening came. The knowledge that life would go on reinforced itself as speculation was made fact. Aki busied herself, trying to fix what she knew how in the innards of the _Black Boa_. It did little to help the desolation caused by Gray's death, but little was something.

Not that it was doing any good for the ship. What was broken was either irreparable or insignificant. Maybe with the proper knowledge and tools, or schematics and instructions or… something.

She pulled her head out of the floor and replaced the panel. After four hours, it was time for a break. There she knelt for some time, motionless and lost in thought. In the artificial light of the storage compartment, she pondered what she could have done differently. Anything that would have prevented New York or….

In a retrospective, she knew what went wrong.

_We shouldn't have allowed them to get involved. We should have done it on our own. _Whether or not it was possible didn't matter; all that did was how it had happened. _Chisic, don't ever let me make that mistake again._

The dæmon next to her trilled, and Aki held out her arm. He climbed up to her shoulder, and nestled close against her head.

**---**

"Anything?" It was a question not for the worth of asking, but for the worth of sound.

"A lot of things," Sid scratched his chin, watching as Chisic fluttered to the back of the now-vacant flight chair. "Ah!" the elderly scientist reached out to stop Aki from sitting down. With an apologetic smile, he motioned to the seat.

Aki leaned slightly to better see the rabbit dæmon huddled there, and asked, "What's wrong with her?" Chisic hopped, from backing to armrest, to seat, and nudged the ailing creature with a curled talon.

"I thought she was fading at first. But now I don't know," The old man shrugged, "She… looks sick." Which was impossible. Dæmons didn't get sick. Although neither could they live without their human. And a human couldn't live without his dæmon.

And ever since the Phantoms had come, all knowledge of life had changed in some way.

The dæmon wormed away from Chisic to fall to the floor with a painfully audible _thud_. The rabbit crawled away, her hind legs dragging as though she was paralyzed. Aki stood, reluctant to call the doe back because of the simple and understandable, yet suddenly embarrassing fact that she didn't know the name; and she felt bad because she didn't try.

For some reason, she believed that she should have. Aki remembered the man; and the surprise that he had a dæmon after all, so well hidden was she when first they met.

"Did you fix anything?"

Her dæmon relinquished his place, and Aki found the willpower to sit down. "Nothing useful." Aki squinted at the display over the computerized panel, "What's that?"

"This?" Sid smiled that old, sagacious smile he always did, "Oh, this is nothing…." His smile grew as Aki's eyes moved rapidly as she took in as much of the information as moved over the holographic filaments. Even with all the studies that had been done – on nature, on bioethric energy, or anything else – it was difficult to tell whether the readouts and scans were normal or not. This was the first and only tangible record they had on Gaia; and it included the interaction with the Phantoms.

"But I would like to get it to a lab, wouldn't you?" Not that the _'Boa_'s labs wouldn't work fine… if they were working properly to begin with. And they would probably not be given the chance to see such chronicled reactions again if the computers, in a fit of failure, decided to erase the account.

Aki mumbled her answer. Research… study, was something that could keep her mind busy as well as the hands. But for the blood in those hands…. She toyed with the edge of her shirt where it crossed her neck. She still wore the metal plate that held the 'wave data, just because there was nowhere safer to keep it.

"What about…?" She couldn't accept that just yet, either, "How would we get access?" Chisic hopped from the armrest on their chair to the armrest on Sid's to scrutinize the strings of information that poured forth across the display. The old man moved slightly to avoid jostling the dæmon by accident.

"We were discussing that earlier," Sid said, and Kvasir trilled.

"We thought maybe… New York's generators are probably still running; at least better than this ship is right now."

"It wasn't quite our idea," Sid admitted at Aki's hesitant demeanor, "But we thought we could pick up some data there from the labs, possibly some ovo cells and go to Nevada; and stay there for a while."

Chisic jumped across to Aki again, and she held the osprey-dæmon close.

"We could…. It has also been suggested that," _i.e., 'also not my idea' _"If we can't get airborne again with this ship, that we… borrow, another."

The woman leaned slightly, peering into darkened area of the cabin. She couldn't help feeling some strange amusement in the idea, even if there was a slight guilt there as well.

"And where would we get another?" she wondered aloud, an acerbic touch at the back of her throat. This _was_ a fun game….

"Well," the old man laughed, "It was, well, it was put forth that we…" he sighed; the plan was indeed dangerous, "Could call _them_ to us, and if they come…. Presuming you can fly such a craft, we obtain the use of their transport."

"What if I couldn't?"

"Then… we have a lot to account for ourselves," Sid shrugged, "And a little extra."

Sure, she could have taken it all as a joke. Yes, she could have thought it through. Yeah, she could have done the sane thing and tried everything and anything else first. But something had become broken, and was far from healing anytime soon.

**---**

The man fidgeted uncomfortably. His dæmon, a Canadian goose, echoed the sentiment by stepping lightly from foot to foot. They weren't in any danger, but being left to guard the _Corel_ transport was not his idea of fun. Besides, if it was so safe, then why did that stupid officer need such a heavy guard? _Because he's stupid_, came the not quite thought out response.

While his dæmon shuddered and ruffled her feathers, the man studied at the more massive craft. It was larger than the one he currently guarded; sleeker, with a curve here instead of there… but along a similar design. It has a familiar feeling to it as though he should have known something about it. His companions were out of sight, he noticed, and there hadn't been any trouble yet. His mind wandered, and he stood as tall as he could to see the edge of the Phantom crater. It seemed more jagged than he thought it should be; and there were no Phantoms.

Everyone was wary of that.

His dæmon shambled to the end of her tether, peering around the ramp. She bristled again as she turned around, and shrieked in surprise as something heavy landed her flat.

The man bit his tongue, quite hard, to avoid shouting out. The suddenness of the pain shocked his breath from him, and he scrambled for his dæmon…. Through his display he saw that the blur of her was being held away from him, not by Phantoms, as he had feared; but by a slightly bigger blue blur; and he couldn't get through her terror to see straight from her eyes. He tore off his helmet as fast as it would come, while securely keeping his end of the tether in one hand. That which held him growled, and he raised his head to meet the green-gold gaze of a very angry lynx-dæmon.

Had he been of a quicker individual's reasoning, he might have screamed. Or perhaps he would have recovered the weapon he'd so negligently dropped, or tried to talk or reason with the creature.

Instead, he squeaked an indiscernible syllable somewhat related to, 'o.'

Another sound caught his attention, and he struggled to move and see the woman behind him; the one quite aptly aiming his own rifle at his unprotected head. He twisted his neck a little further to see the indifferent aged man staring at him in a merciless way.

He squeaked again, quite callow to such an experience. And he might have cried for help, had the comm. unit been closer at hand than in his discarded helmet.

**---**

Dr. Sid admitted to himself the sheer fear of the younger man, but judged that this was the sensible course of action. If allowed to go find his command, he would no doubt damage their escape. Or, the way he was acting, stand there perfectly paralyzed while he was incinerated in the wake of their take off. No, this was probably best of the man's choices.

While Aki familiarized herself with the aircraft, Sid secured the younger man in the passenger hold. He cut the dæmon's tether; and used one half to bind the stranger to a railing, and the other half to hang his dæmon by her harness on another just out of reach across the compartment. He didn't feel good about it, but it was a mild guarantee to the safety of all concerned.

**---**

Aki was glad for a clean landing. The differences between this aircraft and her ship were just enough to be irritating, if only that. And, of course they couldn't use a real landing platform – oh, no… there were already _people_ there, and she couldn't be bothered to deal with anyone as she was…. Besides, they were closer to the lab here than they would have been there.

It made sense to her.

She ran through the ship, Chisic flying along behind. She ignored the stranger, who stared at her with bugged eyes; and his dæmon, who dangled helplessly from the rail to which she was tied.

The rabbit-dæmon bounded after Aki and Sid as they disembarked, and stopped behind them as they did abruptly. The lynx-dæmon walked to the foot of the ramp, and lingered there. His ears twitched slightly, but not as noticeable as the doe's.

She stood high, ears up and twisted in the direction of the nigh inaudible sound. The bird-dæmons heard it too, as well as the scientists.

The lagomorph dæmon was the first to identify it as something familiar.

"That's Takotia!" the shock of recognition didn't last long, as the little being dashed across the abandoned promenade, heedless of the new ruins of the recently collapsed city.

Aki might have followed, out of concern rather than recognition; save that, some yards into the chase, she nearly fell when something grabbed onto her leg.

The woman, a stranger, held fast to Aki's ankle, her brown eyes silently pleading for _something_. Aki recoiled; the woman had no dæmon, and she wanted to know, "Where is he?"


	3. Unexpected Surprises

_A Dæmon's Heart_

**_Chapter Three_  
Unexpected Surprises**

The dæmon was huge; a black she-wolf, her forepaws and muzzle white as snow; and she was marked at her shoulder to be over half as tall as any given human.

The man faced it with more bravery than his own dæmon showed. The setter cowered behind him, her tail tucked between her legs, whimpering as the other growled. The man frowned. He could have shot it, if he wanted to, but such a death was too good for an abomination like it.

He threw another piece of debris at it, a chunk of rock, which it dodged nimbly before barking at him in a severe warning.

"Let it be, Rucker."

The man jumped – he hadn't known the woman was there. Still, he kept his eyes on the stray dæmon, "Why should I?"

"Because it'll die on its own," the lion-dæmon sniffed at his own while his woman spoke, "Don't waste your energy, we have better things to worry about."

The wolf snarled, but refused to move further from the wreckage. The woman turned, her dæmon bullying the man to follow; and the wolf sighed in relief, though she spurred the stranger on by snapping at the trailing setter when it didn't move fast enough for her taste. When they'd gone far enough away, she crept back to the wreck and leapt amidst it.

Within the mangled and twisted metal, she found the remains of her self. She laid her head against his knee, and whimpered. She lived through the end for him; the least he could do was wake up and stop the pain.

**---**

The overbearing size of the city could have been enough for a person, given the situation. For a lean, five pound rabbit that feeling was ever more profound.

She slipped under a low step, part of a fire escape or possibly a way to a higher level. She wasn't sure, and she didn't exactly care. She only needed a place to catch her breath, and being out of sight was instinctively calming.

But reason was stronger than instinct, for rabbit she was in form only. It was no time to lose herself to mindless mechanical fears.

She stuck her head into the open air, ears spread as far and high as they would go. The noises that were weren't what she sought, and that which she did seemed to have stopped completely; or that howling was drown out by the screen of other odd and grisly sounds that was so nearby.

Auditory influx wasn't the strongest distraction, however. There was something more tugging at her very self.

The small dæmon inched out of her hiding place, half dreading the call that she found herself following, and almost finding the strength to struggle against it.

As if it had been so long, she broke into a blind run towards the pulling… something stronger and more oblivious than pure instinct, and, perhaps, more natural.

**---**

There was a time in his life when his dæmon changed regularly. This was until, like all dæmons, she eventually settled. And it had been one of the most terrifying moments of his life when she flew so high to stress the boundary; and then fell back to him, earthbound and shape-bound from that point to forever.

Still, it seemed like nothing when compared to the incomplete emptiness he felt now.

Because of this, the sheer confusion of life and the effort put into the continuation of it, and the few sketchy memories that kept running through his mind, he fell into a state of lethargy. Exhausted, but unable to sleep, he curled against the cold alley wall and remembered.

He remembered the day she stopped changing, in an alley not unlike this one…. He remembered pain, and fear, when she pulled away from him. Something that suddenly struck from memory; pain that increased in force…

Metaphysical pain, but not from memory. Which didn't make sense; even as it crest, where he sat up straight in surprise, and bit his hand to keep from crying out in agony.

Then it faded, only to be replaced by a much duller somatic pain in his chest; and weight. His hand came to rest on the lump in his shirt, and he felt fur scrape against the bare skin under it. He stared, disbelieving, at the little face that looked back at him through the neck of the garment.

"Mialynn?"

Disbelief gave way to apprehensive hope, which fell into pure joy as he squeezed the other part of himself closer, intent on never letting go.

And, if it were up to her, neither would she.

**---**

It was easy to give up on self-preservation when all that would be preserved was a broken heart. Selflessness had taken over, and through it Aki found purpose.

The makeshift aid shelter for this very ideal, a sprint away from the stolen transport, was crude, but it was all she had. It was here that she gathered the shocked, but nevertheless alive survivors of the city's collapse. Most of these people, and the occasional dæmon, were only half alive as far as Aki could determine, but the few who were whole assisted as she and Dr. Sid gathered together as many of the living as they could.

It was a lot of effort; there were many breathing amidst the dead, and before an hour had passed, they had amassed a group of nearly a hundred.

It came to the point where Aki was roaming farther to find survivors. Often she moved out of sight of the camp in this search, relying on natural senses to find life rather than her scanning equipment… all of which were either malfunctioning, out of power, or too precious to use in such a manner.

Instead of messing with technology, she listened through Chisic, as he heard it. The dæmon guided her along, and both felt for heartbeats, breathing, and whimpers in the stagnant air.

She followed one of these heartbeats, through a tiny, twisted wreck of a street. The body she found was dead, and the only marks upon him were the bruises sustained from where he hit the ground.

The doctor felt disoriented; she still felt something nearby, but it may as well have been hers, resounding through the alley and confusing her senses as she knelt discouraged on the dirty pavement. So it must have been her imagination; the shallow footsteps that tapped along through the foreboding area; and the shadow that appeared over her shoulder; or the hand that hesitantly touched her shoulder…

Chisic squealed, and Aki looked up. She was abruptly startled by this presence, and more so by what she saw; she struggled to speak past the incredulity that flooded her mind.

The hand twisted in a gesture of good will, yet she lingered… not quite willing to accept the assistance to stand. One word of countless sentences managed to push past her throat,

"You…."


	4. A Third of the Way

_A Dæmon's Heart_

**_Chapter Four_  
A Third of the Way**

The estranged encampment was tousled about as Aki deftly wove swiftly through the crowd. She dragged behind her a find that heralded a jubilant hope… almost. It probably only mattered to her, but that wasn't her concern. Gray was never the dishonest type, which gave her hope.

_…Never **intentionally** the dishonest type…_ Chisic cautiously corrected, to which Aki refused to allow a displacement of her optimism.

Her mind was too far into her hope; her dæmon was still stuck in despair; both of them agreed they had to talk to Sid.

**---**

The elderly scientist was slowly developing a new habit of looking over his shoulder from time to time. Kvasir had taken a perch to match his suspicious mood. With number of desperate people, and with so the few sane individuals who had decided to stay and help rather than meander off on their own…. This was not to mention the fact that he had probably been under a criminal standing _before_ the theft of the craft, and, well, _now_ it was probably worse… but it was enough to be anxious about without digging up any more.

The craft was a good refuge for thinking in solitude –it even had a number of benches for sitting. The few volunteers that he'd gathered from the crowd were effective, a few soldiers probably, that he wasn't disturbed. The original visit to New York was to scavenge bioetherium, and he hadn't forgotten that…. But… how to inform a growing crowd of nearly a hundred refugees of their impending abandonment? There was no doubt that it was only a matter of time until they were found.

The soldier squirmed, though Sid barely noticed. The dæmon curled at the old man's feet roused, going to sit at the top of the ramp leading outside. There was something very odd going on…

With a rapid sense of familiarity catching him all at once, the lynx snarled.

_How could he?_ the animus demanded, but the inner voice that was to answer him was no longer able to do so. At the same time, he felt very lonely on many fronts. _No… how could **she**?_

With that thought, the dæmon dashed back inside the hold, intent on finding a hiding place before he was seen. Unbeknown it him, it was too late for any such tactic.

Sid watched the creature go, and turned to watch Aki as she climbed the ramp in what may as well have been a record time. She smiled brightly, for in her hand she held another leading to a familiar young man, who, in the crook of his other arm, cradled a familiar dæmon. The rabbit peered at one scientist, then the other before settling down to happily relax, as though being the center of all attention was the most natural thing in the world.

"Oh my…" if Sid hadn't been sitting down, he might have fallen over in shock.

**---**

Neil, for his part in this miraculous discovery… that is, _as_ the miraculous discovery, was not enjoying his condition. Besides being questioned relentlessly by the scientists, he didn't feel quite himself. In fact, all he really felt like doing was nesting.

_Nesting?_

No… that was his dæmon. The man snuck a glance at the rabbit cradled in his lap; she wanted his attention as much as either of the doctors did, and had an advantage that she could think at him. He wished she would stop; is mind was already rather jumbled without the added influence of wanting to look for soft grass and tear fur from his belly….

_Mia, would you stop; please?_

The thoughts stopped almost immediately, but then the dæmon planted her claws in his leg to remind him of her existence. Now it wasn't so confusing… although it _was_ getting painful, but he could deal with that. He tried to turn his attention back to the conversation, but it wasn't like that was going anywhere either.

"I don't know?" he instantly regretted it, because Aki glared at him. The way she was acting, it seemed like being ignorant was a crime worthy of supreme torture. A sidelong glance at Sid stayed a while longer than it was supposed to, as the old man seemed to have noticed something strange, and was staring back thoughtfully.

Sid shifted his careful study his protégé. There was something wrong; as he tried to pin it down, it eluded him.

Aki crossed her arms and pouted; Neil could only cringe and try to look small, and it was a useless attempt to stay out of the unpleasant scrutiny.

The man with the goose dæmon was another mystery; one that Neil was rather disturbed about, for reasons he couldn't quite place. Although, some of the reasons he came up with without asking were quite disturbed unto themselves, so he wasn't sure he wanted to know. He tried to ignore the strange sight, even as the stranger stared at him longingly in a plea for freedom.

Seemingly oblivious to oddness of the situation, Sid scratched the ridge of his nose. The elderly scientist used an overlooked tactic on a whim.

"Why don't you tell us what happened?"

Really, it should have been the first.

"What d'you mean by, 'what happened'?" Neil shifted uncomfortably, as though he were to divulge a fatal secret. Aki was still staring at him, and it wasn't helping.

"Whatever you want to tell us," Sid smiled, but the calming effect he'd hoped for had no effect.

"I woke up on the pier. There were lots'a people. I was told to run, so I ran. And I've been sort'a wanderin' the city ever since."

The old man admired the calm, collected summary, although he would have preferred a little more detail. But Aki beat him to it before he could inquire.

"Who told you to run?" she asked, the questioned clipped and interrogative.

"Jane. She told me to run." To Sid's surprise, Neil's manner remained just as concise, although the technician had developed a solid grip on the dæmon on his lap.

"Why?" the elderly scientist poised a question before Aki could continue, much to her annoyance.

"Not sure, but she picked a fight with one of the officers," Neil cradled his dæmon against his chest; he mildly relaxed and she didn't seem to mind, "So that might've been it… 'Cause they wanted a blood test."

"She's alive?" Aki asked, a demand cut down to a growl. Neil shrugged, keeping his eyes to the floor.

"_They_'re _around_," he corrected. _Alive_ was a matter of opinion. Aki didn't hear him.

"Could you find… them?" Sid glanced at the woman; his worry was becoming vast, "We could probably use some strong, young help."

"I guess…" Neil smiled nervously, "I mean, not that I think it'd be hard…" a flutter of feathers announced Aki's flight, and all eyes watched her leave.

"Try your best, would you?" had only he more selves, Sid might have felt a little more worth in handling the numerous situations. To him, Aki mattered most – more than bare survival.

**---**

The hope that had burned a hole through her heart was a spreading fever, but with it came heavy guilt. Gray was alive… and yet again, she'd left him behind.


End file.
